Coping With
Coping - what you need to know
"Whatever is flexible and flowing will tend to grow whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die"
-Tao te ching
- We have no control over some of our life events. They are probably going to happen whether we like it or not.
- Coping is made up of the responses (thoughts, feelings and actions) that an individual uses to deal with problematic situations that are encountered in everyday life and in particular circumstances.
- Coping has two major functions; dealing with the problem that is causing the distress and regulating our own emotion.
- Coping may not be capable of terminating the stress, but often mange it which includes tolerating or accepting the stress and distress.
- Personality, situational demand and socio cultural factors can influence your coping strategies.
- No single method is effective; a combination of approaches is generally most effective.
- What works for one person does not necessarily work for someone else.
- Problems may arises from collective sources thus effective coping require collective action.
- Many of our response to stress is involuntary for example intrusive thoughts. Many of our responses are an automatic for example withdrawal from others.
- Daily hassles were more important factor in negative health outcomes than major life events.
- Many people believe that certain emotional responses to stress such as anger are innate and unchangeable, but the fact is we can change our emotional reactions.
- Coping process are conscious, intentional, learned and associated with normal adjustment.
- There may be no universally good or bad coping processes though some might be better or worse than others.
- Coping choice may be less important than how well you execute that choice.
- Coping strategies may have multiple functions and their meaning and efficacy may change according to circumstances.
- Coping is related to physical and mental health.
- Coping strategies may not directly affect physiology but indirectly affect health related behaviour.
- Coping effectiveness depends on the individuals, their problem and with their emotions.
- Many chronic stressors are not readily noticed, yet often require special coping efforts.
- Younger children have fewer resources to cope than older adults do.
- Coping With traumatic events may last for a longer time than Coping With everyday problems.
- Some of the productive coping strategies are Seeking Social Support, Focus on Solving the Problem, Physical Recreation, Seek Relaxing Diversion, Investing in Close Friends, Seek to Belong, Work Hard and Achieve, Focus on the Positive.
- Some of the non-productive Coping strategies are Worry, Wishful Thinking, and Not Cope, Ignore the Problem, Tension Reduction, Keep to Self, Self-blame.
- Coping skills help us to appraise our situation more realistically, utilize resources more effectively and thus we can get better outcome from our coping strategies.
- The first prerequisite for conscious development of coping skills is self-awareness, the second is motivation to change and the third prerequisite consists of the skills necessary to achieve the desired.
- Acquisition of coping skills can be enhanced through educational or therapeutic intervention. Teaching coping skills to children and adolescents presents a potentially significant method of preventing and/or modifying dysfunctional or maladaptive behaviors.
- Coping is not simply solving or managing problems, it is a means for human development and transformation.
Research scholar-Psychology in the area of stress coping. Director of an organization working for suicide prevention.
Lost my girlfriend and child in childbirth...?
I'm 22 and recently lost my girlfriend who was 19, and also lost who would of been our second child. There were a lot of complications, which i'm not going to go into. We also have a two year old daughter.
The funeral was so hard and i haven't slept well since. Our daughter keeps asking when mummy is coming back, no matter how many times i tell her that she's and angel with her little sister with god.
I feel lost and alone right now. I'm a single dad and i'm finding it hard to cope with their death. I feel like i'm letting everyone down all the time.
I really am looking for some advice on what step i should take because it feels like i'm going round in circles. Thanks
Get the answers...
I'm heartbroken for the first time. I need advice.?
I was with him for three months, I've known him eight. We're at university. He was the one who showed interest, did the first moves. He was laid back and easy to talk to - and he showed great affection by taking me out for lunch, drinks, and soon bought me a scarf. Then I began to have feelings for him.
He went away with a friend for easter - and we corresponded via twitter message. I missed him, but that was almost a good feeling compared to now.
Since the start of the next term - whenever we were together, he was nice - he was affectionate. But not so chatty. We were soon in exam period, and he started to be forever busy - I kid you not. Soon I became emotionally drained because it was me that always started to text him first, and I soon started to feel a little insecure. Despite this - when we were totally alone it was lovely. But it soon started to be me that initiated everything, even telling him that I would miss him when he went to London to work for the summer.
The other day this week, he asked to come round after having been cancelled on by a friend - and he did the deed. I just sobbed in front of him. He told me he couldn't be there emotionally for me (I have cried a couple of times in front of him - Depression), that he was like a 'robot' and couldn't cope with emotions. He said he felt it wasn't working - that he hadn't been happy. I don't know. Perhaps he started to really like me and got cold feet. Perhaps (because he's a workaholic) he just couldn't see it in the long term. He used the classic 'it's not you, it's me' phrase, but I don't think that was an excuse. Perhaps he felt bad because he couldn't handle a relationship, or that he couldn't offer more.
I've never been so hurt in my life. Thank God exams are over, although he has four left, an idiot! I don't feel lowered in self esteem, or embittered, just blooming hurt. The trouble is - he's living with two of my best friends next year, and works in the bar that I love going to. He asked after me, guessing I went home. Apparantley he went out last night to drink with my friends - my friend said to keep himself distracted. Sounds like he's hurting too... Surely he realises he will see me soon? I think he does. My friend says perhaps I should talk to him when I'm ready, but I don't think I can. I don't think I have any words to say. I think he should say them.
The only positive thing I can think of - is that I'll be more the wiser. That he did really like me, whatever the costs. That I can throw away the draining procedure of "When will I see him again", "He isn't texting back" or "Oh he's busy yet again!"
I was honestly and totally myself with him, maybe he just got scared. He had another relationship years ago, and that didn't work out.
Get the answers...
Coping with depression (1/3)
Next page: Physical
Bookmark/Share This Page:
|
|
|
Coping With News
Adult Onset Claustrophobia: Is It Curable?
21 Mar 2011 at 9:08am photo: Thinkstock In January, I wrote a Blisstree post called Panic Attacks: Coping With Adult Onset Claustrophobia. Now, I’ve never actually been professionally diagnosed with this condition (or sought a professional diagnosis, for that matter), but having recently experienced some of its unnerving symptoms has made me curious about the ins-and-outs of claustrophobia. In daily life, lots of us may casually comment that we feel “claustrophobic” (in an elevator, a crowded subway train, a packed Bikram yoga class), but I wonder if we’re actually engaging in erroneous self-diagnoses. So what is claustrophobia? Where does it come from? Does it mean that I’m crazy? Can it ever go away? I got tired of wondering, so I talked to Dr. Yoav Cohen — a clinical psych...Read more...
