Anxiety Headache

resurfacing of side effects of welbutrin? and abilify?
I took medicine when I was 12 or 13 years old for mood disorder or something? Abilify and Welbutrin I didnt believe i needed them but my parents forced me to comply with the doctor's instructions fuckin retards anyways the side effects of Welbutrin are: Other possible side effects include: anxiety, headache, hyperactive sweating, constipation, nausea, vomiting, fatigue, dry mouth and blurred vision. Other side effects that are less common but more serious include: palpitations, unusual weight loss or gain, agitation, slowed movements, trouble sleeping, tremor, dizziness, fainting, mood changes, difficulty urinating, drowsiness, decreased sex drive, seizures, mental problems, fever, muscle aches, yellowing of the eyes or skin. Allergic reactions to this drug may show the following symptoms: trouble breathing, rash, itching, swelling, or severe dizziness. and for Abilify: Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); abnormal thinking; chest pain; confusion; fainting; fast, slow, or irregular heartbeat; fever; increased sweating; increased thirst, urination, or appetite; involuntary movements of the tongue, face, mouth, jaw, arms, legs, or back (eg, puffing of cheeks, puckering of mouth, chewing movements); loss of control over urination; loss of coordination; mental or mood changes (eg, anxiety, depression, hostility); muscle tremor, jerking, or stiffness; one-sided weakness; seizures; severe restlessness; shortness of breath; suicidal thoughts or attempts; swelling of the hands, ankles, or feet; trouble swallowing; trouble walking; unusual bruising; unusual tiredness or weakness; vision or speech changes. I stopped taking them 8 months after I first started taking them and i definitely remembered experiencing some of those symptoms like headaches and whatnot (and decreased sex drive) altho I was 13 at the time today, I experience somethings that were listed in the side effects even though Ive been off them for about 4-5 years now like decreased sex drive and dry mouth and what not since i believed that I didnt need them, nothing good could've came out of taking those medicines arae side effects permanent? or could it have delayed my puberty/stunted growth/ or something? I found an article online saying that ADHD treatment meds like abilify can stunt growth in height and weigth so Im worried

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How do I get out of this rut?
I can't figure out how to get out of my depression, severe anxiety, headaches, etc. I've been suicidal again lately wanting to give up, because I have no one to talk to. I had a messed up family life with a brother who died of cancer when I was really little, I lived with conservative Christian parents in a small town, my father was trying to keep the family a float and i was just alone with my mom and suicidal. I don't remember anything about my bro even though I was close to him. Anyway, I was doing okay in elementary school, but in middle school I got bullied, mugged, and harassed for no reason other than being a quiet nice kid in a school full of thugs. Then I transferred to a better high school that I had to bus or get rides across town for with a better education, but it was full of rich snobs who also harassed me until I had a major growth spurt near the end and started working out regularly. I also had several major health issues throughout my life that often compromised me, and I was often made fun of for being quiet and for not having much. So after high school, I went to college and worked extremely hard in school and worked on the side to prove to the haters that I could be somebody. I was also someone who'd help homeless people and other people who I saw that were in trouble that other folks neglected. But most of the time in college, I was isolated, all by myself. I didn't have true friends, I only had a couple friends as a kid (both at risk youth) and they stabbed me in the back and left me when they didn't need what I had no more. My family took care of my basic finanical needs even when they were poor, but they didn't allow me to have many friends (especially those who weren't Christian, didn't allow me to listen to most music, watch TV, or whatever. My dad was also abusive and often intimidated me and never let me speak my mind. I pretty mcuh had to listen, because he did bodybuilding. Anyway, this all didn't affect me all that much until the past few years. My parents have quite a bit of money now (they bought a nice house), but they could care less about my problems and I don't have friends. I'm back there right now, because I'm trying to get these health issues solved and am working towards getting my dream job, but other than giving me food, they aren't concerned. They actually didn't even believe depression was real until one of my dad's friends committed suicide. They know that I'm always alone but never talk to me unless they need me to do something for them. I hate not being able to breath and I hate never being able to sleep or feel at peace. I've been to a psychologist, and he did nothing. I'm also often told that this happened because I stopped going to church, but that isn't true, and I want nothing to do with that hypocritical institution. I feel like all hte people I've known in my life turned their back on me even though I helped them during tough times. I'm trying, but it takes time and getting a job where I live is impossible with 20% unemployment. College grads have a hard time finding min wage jobs 'round here.

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